The New Year is a time for many to kickstart new habits and hobbies or perhaps a time to work on the amendment of less desirable patterns of behaviour. Whether it is the addition of new routines or the amendment of old ones, the New Year can be seen as a “landmark” in time, demarcating a distinctive shift or reorientation of the person towards how they ultimately desire to be. Indeed, research has shown that temporal landmarks such as the New Year can be helpful to mentally separate oneself from the past, set out with a fresh start and provide much needed vigour to fuel identified endeavours (Gloster et al., 2020). However, while temporal landmarks may benefit some, they pose their own difficulties as someone may feel that they must wait until a particular time to begin or, when they encounter a momentary setback, experience greater negative emotions as though they’ve lost their singular chance to change.
How then can we stay motivated amidst the presence of obstacles or in the experiencing of apparent “setbacks”? How can we embark on our journey from day-to-day, not constrained to isolated dates or waiting for the New Year, with an energy that is ever green? One such way may be through the identification and pursuit of one’s ideals.
An ideal, also known as a virtue or a character strength in positive psychology, has been defined as a “disposition to act, desire, and feel that involves the exercise of judgment and leads to a recognizable human excellence or instance of human flourishing” (Park et al., 2004, p. 604). Such character strengths or virtues include, but are not limited to, the traits of humour, curiosity, bravery, and kindness (Park et al., 2004).
While ideals can be practiced at any given moment, they may especially be of help when we encounter difficulty, whether acute or reoccurring. Such difficulties may prompt a specific emotional or behavioural response that we are seeking to reduce or replace. Rather than seeing our struggle as a sign of failure, the struggle itself is a sign of progress and, if we accept the discomfort of struggle, can become a source of energy to move us forwards in our pursuit. Much like the expanding of our capacities through the pushing of our abilities in other domains, the encounter of “friction” or difficulty we run up against in practicing our ideals is in fact the sign to us that we are growing in the way we are pursuing.
One example of such an ideal, and one that is particularly salient as we seek to practice other ideals, is that of patience. Patience, also referred to as perseverance, is the willingness to suffer discomfort as we practice our ideals while impatience is an unwillingness for the same.
Patience can be a tremendous ideal for us to strive towards when we are tempted to become discontent or frustrated with our supposed lack of progress. We must be reminded that growth occurs only with time and habituation. If someone were to start going to the gym and say "I have never worked out before but I want to deadlift 600lbs right now", would it make sense for them to become disheartened by their inability to do so? Just as it isn't realistic for someone to deadlift 600lbs immediately following their commitment to do so, it isn't realistic to expect drastic change in our modes of thinking, feeling and doing right after committing to doing so purely because of our commitment. What is realistic, however, and what is helpful is that the commitment to such an ideal, whether deadlifting 600lbs or being more patient with ourselves or others, provides us with a inexhaustible mark to aim and by which to continually reorient ourselves towards when we run up against obstacles or friction on our path. Moreover, it allows us to then see that the very friction and challenge we encounter are not insurmountable obstacles but rather can be seen in a more accurate light as the sign that we are gaining traction - that we are on the right path and that this challenge, this moment, is an opportunity for growth in the exact area that we most need.
One of the deepest obstacles to growth is the avoidance of challenge itself (Nili et al., 2010). The identification and aspiration towards ideals, however, can help us to see that it is in the challenge itself that we are able to grow and bring out the best of ourselves. Ideals can aid us in facing triggers and, rather than shrink away, excitedly say “bring it on” so that we don’t need to wait until the New Year but rather every moment of challenge becomes a new opportunity, a time to say "Nunc coepi", "Now, I begin!"
Author: Dawson Warman, Honours Psychology Student
References
Dai, H., & Li, C. (2019). How experiencing and anticipating temporal landmarks influence motivation. Current Opinion in Psychology, 26, 44–48. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2018.04.012
Nili, U., Goldberg, H., Weizman, A., & Dudai, Y. (2010). Fear thou not: Activity of frontal and temporal circuits in moments of real-life courage. Neuron, 66(6), 949–962. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neuron.2010.06.009
Park, N., Peterson, C., & Seligman, M. E. (2004). Strengths of character and well-being. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 23(5), 603–619. https://doi.org/10.1521/jscp.23.5.603.50748
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